Unka Glen

There’s nothing cooler than when a real man of God gives a clear vision of God’s heart on an issue that so many people have made messy and confused. Ya gotta thank God for dudes like Lee Younger!

leeyounger:

Anonymous asked:

Hey, Lee I have never in my life gone to someone for advice, so this is a little bit weird for me. I’ve always been in a Christian family, and they are hardcore believers; my sister attends bible study every chance she has, and she loves it. I’ve never felt close to Jesus but I feel like He’s the only one who could actually help me right now. I’m gay, and that makes me feel really out of place in my church. Only my best friend knows the truth about me, but I feel like I don’t want my family to.

So I Said: 

I want you to forget everything you think you know about what the church feels about you or what Jesus thinks about you. For just a moment, don’t get too hung up on what people say about being gay - people in the church and people outside of the church. Just chuck it all out for a minute. Forget about the news, politics, rights and all the emotionally charged issues involved. For just a minute, I want to encourage you to clear all that stuff off the table and think about something true and beautiful:

Jesus loves you more than you could even imagine. Jesus loves you like you’re the only lovable and lovely thing in this whole universe. He loves you with a passion and exclusivity that would take your breath away if you really got a hold of it for one nano second. Jesus loves you with a ferocity and urgency that has caused Him to move Heaven and earth just to know you, come to your rescue and make you His very own best friend. 

You say that only your friend knows the truth about you, but that’s not actually true. Jesus knows. He not only knows, but He knows the depths of your heart and mind in ways you don’t even know yourself. He knows you and loves you. No matter what you think you know about Him - and no matter what your experience has been like with His people, Jesus wants to hang out with you. He wants you to get to know Him. He wants to make a home inside your heart and fill it up with hope, peace and joy. He has a plan for your life that will fill you with purpose like nothing else in this world. He has a will for your life that He wants you to follow because He knows what’s best for you, like the most loving father. Does Jesus want to make changes in your life? Sure, but keep in mind that He wants to make changes in my life and everyone else’s as well; and He makes those changes in His time with tenderness and unlimited patience. 

I don’t think you have to tell everyone in your life the most personal thing about you just because. Why does everyone at church or in your family need to know? It certainly shouldn’t affect the way they love you. I think this is your business. You can tell people when you are good and ready. I think you and Jesus should get together and work out the way forward. He has a will for your heart, your physical relationships and your spiritual life and the quickest route to clarity and satisfaction is to get with Him on His program and timetable.

I can tell you that in my life, He has loved me with kindness and has been good to me. He has walked me through dark and confusing situations as a Shepherd and friend. I can tell you that at times, I don’t feel like I belong in the church or anywhere else, but I always feel like I belong with Him. Sometimes it’s hard to know and walk with Jesus, but His love is worth it. The first thing is just getting to know Him. Call out to Him and tell Him you want to know Him and that you want to experience His love for you. Everything else will fall into place if you start there. 

Anonynous asked: Hey Unka Glen! So my girlfriend is having a tough situation with church back home. She never goes to youth group or Sunday morning services anymore, but she says the church doesn’t provide for her. She tries to go, but always leaves either with nothing learned or annoyed because the youth group is mostly kids younger than her who can’t pay attention and be quiet for 1 minute. What should she do in this situation? She doesn’t need to go to church to be close to God, right?

Unka Glen answered: Not being fed in church is an incredibly common problem, and causes a lot of confusion on what to do, despite the simplicity of the situation. So let’s lay out the options and take a look:

Option A: Go to a bad church

Option B: Go to no church

Option C: Go to a good church

Now follow me, because here’s where people apparently get lost, you want to definitely go with Option C.

Here are the lies the enemy tells you to keep you from choosing Option C:

There is only Option A and B. This is what we call a “false choice” dilemma. It’s either go to this church and learn to like it, or stay home, because all churches are basically the same, and it’s evil to use discernment and wisdom to determine that this is a “bad’ church, and besides, the most important thing for you to do is to remain loyal to a church that feels no loyalty to you. OR YOU CAN CHOOSE OPTION C!

There are no “bad” churches. Well, that’s just not true at all. I’ve been in churches that have become so toxic and drama-filled, you could cut the tension with a knife. I’ve seen bad doctrine beyond what you think anyone would tolerate. And when it comes to handling money, I’d say more than half of the churches I’ve set foot in, were just plain sinful in the way they handled money. But in this case, where not talking about all that, what we’re really talking about is a church that simply isn’t feeding you. It’s a bad choice.

Loyalty to the church is important. Burn this on your brain, and then spread the word: You are accountable before God to get yourself fed, nurtured, and developed as a believer. If you are in a less-than-awesome church, you will come to this fork in the road: am I supposed to help a church that isn’t asking for my help, or am I supposed to make sure my spiritual needs are met? Basic logic should tell you that if you aren’t getting fed, they’re going to take you down, before you lift them up.

All churches are basically the same. Part of my work involves visiting and evaluating churches, and I’ve been in hundreds at this point, and I can tell you, there is a HUGE difference from church to church. It’s not at all unusual for me to wander into a very small church that nobody has ever heard of, and experience the best churching you could ask for anywhere.

But your question shows that your thinking is on the exact right path. The key thing is, what does your girlfriend need, or for that matter the rest of us need, to have a well-nurtured and healthy spiritual life? Let’s look at that list:

• Fellowship
• Worship
• Bible study
• Service 
• Prayer
• Mentoring/Discipleship

Well you can do any of those outside the church. You can fellowship anywhere, and study the Bible anywhere, and for that matter plenty of people are called to serve outside of the church. So I suppose you could do all six of these things in different places with different setups. But you’d run into some problems.

For one thing, life is simpler when you can get a lot of that done by going to one place. The other problem that arises is when the person teaching you the Bible, for example, doesn’t have experience teaching that Bible to non-believers, and you’re going out and witnessing to non-believers. 

Or imagine you’re going somewhere where there worship is great, the preaching is so-so, and the fellowship stinks. In the end, you’re going to have to do more work to fill in those gaps. And while no church is perfect, and in most cases you’ll find yourself meeting some of your needs outside the church, it just simplifies things a great deal to be in a good church.

These good quality churches are out there, and they need someone like you to help them do their thing.

leeyounger:

For folks having a rough time today, check this song by Knoxville worship leader and recording artist Ben Bannister for BridgeBox.

“Here bring your wounded heart,

Here tell your anguish,

Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal”

Anonymous asked: So I’m dating this amazing, wonderful Christian guy, who stays off porn and we’ve set our boundaries and all of that. My question is, how can I overcome jealousy? I trust him 100% but it bothers me a lot that because of the world we live in, seeing girls in their underwear or bikinis or even nude is so common (especially at the movies) and I feel like my body, especially since I will never look like that, won’t be special or pleasing to him. Advice for overcoming this?

Unka Glen answered: Your man picked you. That should have been the final word on the subject of jealousy. And jealousy, as you may sense, comes from insecurity. And trust me when I say, when insecurity goes unchecked, you’ll find it to be pure poison to relationships. 

God does things between your body and his eyes. Magical things. Wonderful things. Miraculous things. Don’t question that, or over-think it, just thank God, and learn to rely on His help. Mmkay?

I get the sense that women tend to do a lot of analyzing. When another woman walks in the room, we’re making a mental list. She has: cooler clothes, bigger boobs, better purse, nicer hair… and so on. I get the sense that this information is gathered in almost an automatic way, and that it comes flooding in before we even decide what we think of the information. 

When you look at it that way, it’s hard NOT to be insecure. If you don’t like your body, you can look around all day, and a message is being broadcast to your brain: all these girls are better looking! But let me ask you this: so what? Do you need to have that body to get your guy? Nope. You got your guy with your body. Case closed. 

All this analysis seems to point in a certain direction: the more hot chicks there are for my man to see, the less chance I have of turning him on, and keeping him. Sounds dumb when I say it out loud, huh? You’ve got moves those gals never had to develop. All of which leads us to a few important facts we need to remember.

Fact #1 You don’t need to be jealous where there is no competition. Sure, your guy might think an actress is attractive, but he’s aware that a) he doesn’t have a shot with her, and b) she’s probably a bit of a weirdo anyway. Treat your man better than he has any right to expect, and if he’s tempted AT ALL, kick his crusty butt to the curb, and tell him a better looking guy is about to come along and be amazed at his stupidity.

Fact #2 It’s a total myth that all guys have one idea of beauty. Some guys are athletic, and they want a gal who is slim and trim so they can be athletic together. Other guys love curves and jiggles, and other guys, well, they just like big girls, period. As we say in Texas, “there’s a lid for every pot”. When you find that right fit, that’s that. Most of us guys look at fashion models and don’t get the appeal (it’s almost as if a lot of the men in the fashion world are gay…). 

Fact #3 (And I’m really giving you the secret sauce here) You know how, in the movies, women always play it cool, and guys are intrigued by that? Real life works the exact opposite way. A confident woman who shows her affections to a man becomes about a thousand times better looking to that man. “But I don’t wanna look desperate!” is the response of insecure women who are, in fact, almost always desperate. 

Fact #4 You don’t need to be nekkid to be sexy. When a woman smiles at a man in a certain way… wow. that’s something all the porn stars and lingerie models in the world can’t compete with. When she whispers something flirty in a guy’s ear. Mmm. All those images on computer screens can’t compete with a real flesh and blood woman, one who knows how to love deeper, because she is loved by God in the deepest way possible.

None of those other ladies can compete with you.

You’ll have to convince people, sooner or later. Yes, when you’re a student, your life is all about getting the right answer. And if you get the right answer, they HAVE to give you that grade. So you might be thinking that life is like that, I work and they have to pay me, eventually they have to give me bonuses, and promote me. But life doesn’t work that way.

The biggest struggle that young pastors have is facing the shock of leaving an academic environment, where it’s all about properly defending your point of view, and entering a world there they essentially need to convince people for a living. And more than a few pastors resist this transition, and try to live in a world where we as a congregation will accept whatever they preach, as long as they give us an adequate “proof”.

But the world just doesn’t make decisions that way. Make no mistake, people make decisions according to their deeply irrational heart, way more than according to their head, no matter what they tell you.

If you want a job, you’ll be convincing them to hire you, if you want to sell something on that job, you’ll need to convince people to buy it, and even if you do everything right, it’s not certain, at all, that you’ll succeed. 

But we don’t like hearing all that. I guess nobody wants to be vulnerable to failure, especially when it’s beyond our control. When you ask someone to make a decision, based on something you’ve suggested, then you’re facing some possible rejection, and who wants to live in that world?

But all that is irrelevant to you and I, because we are Christians, and Christians are meant to be world-changers. By the way we live, and work, and love one another, we help convince people to throw off the shackles of slavery to this world, and discover a love beyond measure, beyond all things physical.

If you want to date someone, you’ll need to do some convincing. After all, you’re asking them to invest their whole life in you. It’s all fine and good to think that you can just be a good person, and sit on a park bench, and that someone will come along and do all the romancing for you, but it ain’t gonna go down like that.

You will be a witness, you will play an active role in your love life, and you will not live your whole life like a big fat chicken. You have no reason to fear human rejection, you are already accepted, by God, in every possible important way. Yes some fool will turn you down when you ask them out, some boss won’t see what they have in front of them and fail to hire you.

But you’ll never be tempted to try and live in that small sad world, where you hide from trying to convince people of things, because you’ll always be witnessing. And you’ll be doing it with a total patience that says, “if I don’t convince you today, I’m gonna convince you next week, or next year. But I’m not going anywhere.”

thecleric asked: Glen, thank you, you are a blessing to me and you do great work. Question: my dad was murdered when I was 7. Coming from a non-Christian home this made me have no desire for God until I met my wife who introduced me to Jesus. I’ve forgiven the murderer (who is in jail) and have been thinking: should I reach out to this man and if so how? I worry that he doesn’t want my forgiveness or that I’m only doing it for myself (to perhaps get some closure). As someone in prison ministry what do you think?

Unka Glen answered: I think beware of ideas that sound “Christian”. More often than not, they’re designed to make us feel Christian. You have no need for that. You are a Christian my brother, and a plenty strong one at that, judging by what you’ve overcome, and I’m just flippin’ proud at know ya.

Could this be a sort of back-handed selfish thing? Well, just about anything can be said to be self-serving in some way, but the key question to ask yourself is: would I still do this, if nobody ever knew about it? Do you need the closure? If you’ve forgiven this brother (and I know that’s a multi-layered process), then it’s closed. 

Speaking as a prison ministry professional, I can tell you that it would almost certainly mean a great deal to that inmate. There’s an image of inmates as bring either cold people or hustlers, but I can tell you I’ve met far more cold and hustling individuals in three piece suits, than I have wearing prison uniforms. 

It would mean a great deal to this man, and benefit him on some level almost certainly, and if you want to do that, I’ve got your back all the way. But do I think you’ll get anything out of it? Nope. Not likely. If it’s about ministering to him, then that doesn’t matter. If it’s about you, write him a letter, leave off the return address, and say your peace.

But let’s land on this: how amazing is the love of Christ? Look at the extremes it takes us to! Think of how transforming and transcending it is. You’ve forgiven the unforgivable in others, because you were forgiven a debt you could never pay. Look at the extremes that the enemy went to, just in order to keep you from finding this love, but you found your true self, you found your Heavenly Father, and nothing will ever be the same again!  

Episode 66 of the Say That podcast is up!

This week, we talk about how to listen to God about big decisions, talk about a possibly confusing part of 1 John 3, and talk about being a sexually frustrated young Christian.

Stream it for free, or subscribe on iTunes.

Anonymous asked: Hi Unka Glen! Your blog’s been a great source of wisdom and I really need some right now. You see, I recently got employed. A week on the job got me feeling overwhelmed, that I’m not good or strong enough for it. I don’t know if I should give up or keep going. I’m having a really hard time hearing what God has to say regarding what career path I should take… I don’t know what to do. How do I know what He wants for me?

Unka Glen answered: well, let’s be fair, everyone is overwhelmed om their first week of the job. But here’s a huge mistake Christians make all the time: they look to themselves, and try to add up what they have to offer, and then take on only the things they think they can handle. John 15:5 says “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

By looking to ourselves, we get it wrong both ways. On one hand we think we can accomplish some things on our own. And on the other hand, we fail to recognize that God is always part of the equation. Repeat after me: I can’t do it, but God can do it through me.

Vine and branches are all part of ONE organism. And the branch (you) is TOTALLY dependent on the vine (God). The stronger and smarter and more sanctified I become, the more I realize that I just don’t have what it takes, and I’m not even close. And the easiest way to stay reminded of that, is to get in over my head, and stay there.

It’s hard to figure out what God wants you to do, when you’re freaked out and overwhelmed with doubts over your ability to pull anything off. But know this, God can accomplish anything through you. Lazarus was dead. I’m sayin’, dead,buried, and decomposing, and Jesus still said, “I can work with this”.

Christians do not live in fear. We stand in awe of a power beyond all human comprehension, and we know that this power fights for us, and that nothing in Heaven or Hell can stand against us. We. Do. Not. Fear. We face our challenges head on, and when we lose heart, we go to God and receive the courage we need.

“We do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.” (Hebrews 10:39)