Unka Glen

sighsofrelief asked: How do you know if the church you’re in, is the one that God wants you in?

Unka Glen answered: Every church has it’s problems of course, and it’s unreasonable to ask that there be no weaknesses in your church, but let’s took at some purely minimal positive expectations…

• Does your church fulfill the old maxim about it being “a place where you can serve, and also be served”? That is to say, do they encourage you to find your calling and help equip, train, and encourage you in that calling? If they can’t directly do this, do they bring in outside ministries (missions, parachurch organizations, etc.) to help? Does your church see your calling and your ministry as part of the life of the church? Do they pray for you, keep up to date with you, and do they hold you accountable? 
• Are your gifts and talents valued within the church? Does your church know what it is that you bring to the table, and do they celebrate that? Do they seek your insight on issues that relate to your gifts? 
• Looking at the people that you reach out to—would they feel loved, valued, and welcome in your church? Even if it wouldn’t be the right fit for them, would the people you reach out to be fed, encouraged, and uplifted in your church? Does your church passionately care about the people Jesus called “the least of these”? 
• Does your pastor have credibility with you? Do you respect him? Was he truly a part of you finding you calling? Or if you found your calling before you came to this church, does your current pastor value and celebrate your work for the Kingdom? Does your pastor have a good reputation with non-believers (1Tim 3:7)?
• Are you spiritually fed in your church in such a way that it equips you to better fulfill your calling? Are you beginning to understand scripture in a way that better helps you explain it to others? Do you feel energized, enabled, and empowered by the teaching of the church, to go out and serve the Lord with passion and zeal?

Few churches could get exceedingly high marks on all these points (though I assure you, there are some who do). They key thing to consider is: would my church and my pastor be considered at least passable in all of these key areas, and fairly excellent in a few areas that may be critical to your specific needs? 

Negative issues: Now that we know what good things you should be seeing in your church, let’s look at the negative things that we should not be seeing in your church and your relationships there.

• Does your church or your pastor feel intimidated by what you do for the Lord? Does the very presence of your ministry efforts within the church set up a standard that others are uncomfortable with? Does your church feel the need to control or limit a reasonable amount of awareness of your ministry to the rest of the congregation? 
• Do you find yourself feeling as though you need to heal the church, and hold the church accountable, and help the church to get on the right path… when in fact the church is meant to doing all those things for you? Do you feel responsible for correcting the church when, in fact, this is the pastor’s responsibility? Are you trying to help this pastor in a way that was not asked for, and may not be welcome?
• Are you in this church for the sake of human obligation or personal history? Do you feel like you “owe” the church something, and you’re staying out of this sense of human loyalty, as opposed to a greater sense of loyalty to the Lord? 
• Do you feel like you would have some sort of “loss of status” if you left this church to attend another one? Are you staying because you’re concerned about what sort of “message” it would send if you left? Are you protecting the reputation of the church by “spinning the truth” in a way that would leave others vulnerable to suffering within the church?
• Has your church or your pastor stopped you from doing ministry, or impeded your ministry progress in any way?  Has your pastor limited, or allowed others to limit, your work for reasons of logistics, politics, policies, or other concerns of lesser importance than the greater concern of moving the Kingdom forward?

While you want to see a reasonable “up to par” level of effectiveness on all those positive points, if you’re putting up with ANY of these negative issues, you’re in an unhealthy church situation. And it’s time to pray about moving on.