Unka Glen

Anonymous asked: My boyfriend and I had a discussion on what the line is between appreciating beauty and lust. He says if he sees a pretty girl he just appreciates her beauty and doesn’t dwell on it, so it’s not lusting. But what are your insights on this?

Unka Glen answered: Well, on one level he’s right, as Martin Luther once famously said “you can’t keep the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair”. You can see beauty and appreciate it, without lusting after it, no doubt.

BUT that’s missing the larger point here. Let me speak to your boyfriend a moment…

Let’s make sure we understand a few things about the questions that our special lady friends ask us. If they ask you, “do you think this is a good television show?” they are looking for your opinion and analysis. If they ask, “do these jeans make my butt look big?”, that’s a trap. Don’t fall into the trap.

Okay, to be fair, it’s not so much a trap, as it is a test. When they ask, “do these jeans make my butt look big?” she’s obviously asking you if she looks attractive in this moment. As a male person, you’re tempted to think in more shallow and literal terms. Woman are deep. Implications are everywhere. 

Let’s make this clear, this isn’t about treating women as if they’re insecure, it’s about respect. When God told husbands to respect their wives, He wasn’t fooling around. So you shouldn’t be fooling around either.

Tell her, you are my woman, and there is NO OTHER WOMAN ON THE PLANET FOR ME. I don’t find them attractive, desirable, or sexy. I have hit the jackpot, and therefore, I am no longer playing the game. Let your lady know, as far as you’re concerned, theologically speaking, the sun shines directly out from betwixt her perfectly shaped buttocks. 

As a handy guide, I’ve produced a series of common girlfriend questions, so all you need to do is memorize the answers. 

• Her: Are you lusting after that woman?
• You: No.

• Her: Are you appreciating her beauty?
• You: No.

• Her: Do you find her attractive?
• You: No.

• Her: Seriously, you can tell me, I’m not like that, so you don’t have to be all like that, do you think she’s pretty? Seriously, I won’t be mad.
• You: No.

• Her: I know you’re just saying that. TELL ME! Do you think she’s pretty?
• You: No.

• Her: Do you think my friend is pretty?
• You: Are you kidding?
• Her: I’m serious.
• You: No.

• Her: If I died, and I put it in my will that I wanted you to marry my friend, who we both know is pretty, would you marry her, granting my dying wish as my last act on this planet as your mortally doomed girlfriend before I go forth unto the bosom of the everlasting?
• You: No.

• Her: Okay, but do these jeans make me look fat?
• You: No.
• Her: You’re not even looking.
• You: [said as you run away] No, no, no, no.

Do you see how I made that easy for ya? God gave you a lovely girlfriend, so make sure she knows that you already think she’s the most beautiful woman, inside and out, in the whole wide world. Okay?