kidcallipygian asked: SUP UNKS! I’m a Christian woman, living my 20-year-old life, and I recently realized that when I meet a Christian guy, I first see them as “potential boyfriend/husband material”. It’s only after I get to know them, that I truly see them as brothers in Christ. I feel this is really bad for me, and I want to change this way of thinking, because it promotes NOT guarding your heart. How do I change?

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Unka Glen answered: Ah the guarding your heart thing… Quick update: people in Biblical times thought you did your thinking with your heart, not your brain, and that did your feeling with your stomach (like how you get butterflies in your stomach when you see a hot guy).

The Hebrew word used in Proverbs 4:23, is translated 36 times elsewhere in the Bible as “mind”. As in, guard your mind. And what are we supposed to be guarding our minds from in Proverbs 4? A lack of Godly wisdom. Like the kind of situation where someone misuses a verse that has nothing to do with our romantic lives.

You don’t need to protect your heart from love. 

The other problem here is simple. You SEE a guy, and take in all sorts of information about how he looks, long before you get a chance to find out how he really is inside. You can’t look at a guy from across a crowded room and say, “Mmm girl, he looks like he’s totally saved and sanctified! MMM yeah, work it.” 

I mean you could say that, but it would be super creepy.

What happens is that you see a hot guy and you quickly pray the age old single woman’s prayer: “Please Lord let him be saved, please, please, please, no girlfriend, no girlfriend, no girlfriend.” Does it seem like the priorities are backward here? Yeah. But that’s just the order information arrives in. It’s easy enough to correct those priorities afterwards.

As I mentioned on a recent episode of our podcast, you may have often heard someone give their testimony about how they were drawn to a person spiritually, and then got to know them a emotionally, and then just happened to notice some time later, “hey, guess what, this person is actually super-hot!” Yeah right.

That’s stretching the truth way past the breaking point. That’s just not how life works with us humans. When I saw my wife for the first time I said, “Lord, I’d rather watch this woman walk, than eat fried chicken” (a statement I’d still go by). What I (fortunately) discovered afterwards, was an awesome woman of God. 

When we were dating we kept our priorities where they needed to be, for sure. But we also knew that physical attraction and romance and agape love can easily go hand in hand. We didn’t need to worry about one spoiling the others.

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