Anonymous asked: Hey Unka Glen. It seems like every time I read about lust, it’s equated to any type of sexual desire that person has. It’s almost as if, as a single person, I can’t even feel horny without people saying that it’s lust. I know that I have to pray against it, but at the same time, I don’t want to get into the habit of automatically repressing any sexual desires. If I do, I’ll have trouble feeling sexual with my husband. Can you help?


Unka Glen answered: Now here is a smart question! You’ve just put your finger on a huge problem that young Christians are dealing with today. Young people are being told that repressing sexuality, and dating in general, will somehow automatically create the most awesome marriage possible! But if you think of sex as bad and dirty and something to be afraid of, then you’ll find it VERY difficult to one day see it as not only good, but an essential part of a healthy married relationship. 

God made sex to be beautiful, and special, and to feel good. He made it to be fun, and wild, and adventurous. He made it to build intimacy and vulnerability and devotion to one another. As Christians we control and sometimes limit ourselves sexually to make the most of our sex lives. 

All that is true. Here is another truth. Kids have sex. A lot. They have sex before they’re emotionally ready for it. They have sex before the relationship is there to support that level of intimacy. And worse, they’re all too often taking on the responsibility of raising a child when they can’t be responsible enough to use a condom.

Speaking on behalf of the adult world. We’d all like that to stop. We want you to recognize that sex is not a toy to play with, it doesn’t make you adult, it doesn’t work as glue to hold relationships together, and we really want you to wait on having kids until there’s a solid foundation to support that child. 

Unfortunately, this desire to stop all the unhealthy sex, and the pregnancies, has simply flipped some people out. They’re prepared to just straight up mess with your head to keep you off of one another. They’ll invent psychological conditions that don’t exist (soul ties) they’ll twist verses around (about guarding your heart), and they’ll call all sexual desires lust. Anything to stop the madness.

But this is a disrespectful way to treat people. 

I’m not agreeing with all this manipulation, because I respect you enough to believe that if I lay it all out well enough, and ask you to pray about it, that you are mature enough, and wise enough to make the right decision. 

So, at the end of the day, what is lust, really? The Biblical idea of lust (in Greek it’s epithumeo) is a desire that’s out of control. That is to say, Biblically speaking, you can lust over more than just sex. 

So it’s really quite simple, having sexual thoughts, sexual desires, and sexual feelings are not bad, but when that desire starts to consume you, THEN you have something you need to pray against. And yes, it’s worth noting that it can sometimes be an extremely short trip from desire to being overwhelmed.

Sexual stuff is an awesome part of life, but you don’t want to let it take the steering wheel.


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    …and the church said AMEN!
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    I’ve said it once, I’ll say it forever; I LOVE finding well thought out objective and decisive posts on the internet...
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  11. anatomyoftongueandcheek said: Great question and even better answer! Do you have any verses I can refer back to in this subject?