Unka Glen

suile-glasa asked: How do you deal with having doubts about God?

Unka Glen answered: Well, awhile back I had me some doubts. And I tried talking to my Christian friends about my doubts, but they were no help, because they were too busy repressing their own doubts to hear mine. Besides they were worried I’d talk us both into disbelief.

So I tried talking to my atheist friends, but I realized they were worried too, about losing their faith in nothing. Who knows, if they doubted all their non-belief, they’d end up, ya know, being a believer. So they weren’t any help. 

In the end, there was nobody to talk to except God, and that conversation went a lot like this:

Me: I have, like, doubts about all this stuff.

Him: I get that.

Me: You’re not mad?

Him: Nope. I like to do things on the down-low, so that way people come to me by choice. It’s better for the relationship that way. But it sometimes leads to moments of confusion.

Me: Yeah, I guess I kinda suck at the faith thing.

Him: Well, I can just give you the faith, that’s how it’s supposed to work anyway.

Me: Right on. I can dig that.

Him: I knew that you could.

Me: It’s just that sometimes things really look bad.

Him: There’s much more to life than what you can see.

Me: Yeah. That makes sense.

Him: But you can always come to me for answers, that’s how that’s supposed to work too.

Me: That sounds like a lot of me coming to you, and like, depending on you.

Him: Now we’re getting somewhere!

Me: Okaaay. You don’t mind me being kind of a hot mess about all this?

Him: I love talking to you about all this stuff, and there’s so much more for us to talk about as well. Don’t worry about your doubts, fears, or stumbles… just focus on keeping us connected. Everything you need will flow from that connection.

How much of your life is ruled by fear? How many decisions, how many of your actions, how much of your lifestyle is all about fear? That might be:

• The fear of rejection
• The fear of failure
• The fear of poverty
• The fear of loneliness
• The fear of being on bad terms with God

Now imagine that we thought of fear as a sin. Or perhaps that’s unfair, given that fear is an emotion, and I don’t think you can really have a righteous or sinful emotion. So let’s say that cowardice is when we let fear rule our lives. Cowardice is when fear is driving the bus and making the decisions.

By that definition, cowardice HAS to be a sin.

The Bible does say: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6). But we really don’t think of life that way, do we? It really helps to worry over things, if we didn’t worry, nothing would ever get done! Worry just shows that we care about things! Yet in Matthew 6:27 Jesus asks, “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

You know how Christians have this huge fixation on porn? You know how they hate falling into it? How they’d hate for anyone to know that they’re committing that kind of sin? What if Christians had the same attitude about cowardice?

And why isn’t it obvious by now that the enemy uses fear to drive us deeper into participating in church, out of a fear of punishment, while simultaneously creating a more distant and cold relationship with God? And all this despite 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

Fear is a prison, and I want to set you free from it. God holds your future in His hand. IT’S NOT UP TO YOU. He has challenges for you to accept, hurdles for you to overcome, and tasks for you to complete, but HE will ensure the victory, not you. That’s good news. 

Joshua 1:9 ”Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Fear not
Because I have redeemed you
I have called you by your name
You are mine.
Isaiah 43:1b

Anonymous asked: Hi Unka Glen! Your blog’s been a great source of wisdom and I really need some right now. You see, I recently got employed. A week on the job got me feeling overwhelmed, that I’m not good or strong enough for it. I don’t know if I should give up or keep going. I’m having a really hard time hearing what God has to say regarding what career path I should take… I don’t know what to do. How do I know what He wants for me?

Unka Glen answered: well, let’s be fair, everyone is overwhelmed om their first week of the job. But here’s a huge mistake Christians make all the time: they look to themselves, and try to add up what they have to offer, and then take on only the things they think they can handle. John 15:5 says “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

By looking to ourselves, we get it wrong both ways. On one hand we think we can accomplish some things on our own. And on the other hand, we fail to recognize that God is always part of the equation. Repeat after me: I can’t do it, but God can do it through me.

Vine and branches are all part of ONE organism. And the branch (you) is TOTALLY dependent on the vine (God). The stronger and smarter and more sanctified I become, the more I realize that I just don’t have what it takes, and I’m not even close. And the easiest way to stay reminded of that, is to get in over my head, and stay there.

It’s hard to figure out what God wants you to do, when you’re freaked out and overwhelmed with doubts over your ability to pull anything off. But know this, God can accomplish anything through you. Lazarus was dead. I’m sayin’, dead,buried, and decomposing, and Jesus still said, “I can work with this”.

Christians do not live in fear. We stand in awe of a power beyond all human comprehension, and we know that this power fights for us, and that nothing in Heaven or Hell can stand against us. We. Do. Not. Fear. We face our challenges head on, and when we lose heart, we go to God and receive the courage we need.

“We do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.” (Hebrews 10:39) 

Anonymous asked: Hey Unka Glen I have a question. Why doesn’t God answer our prayers? He said ask anything according to His will and He’ll hear us and grant us our requests. Why does God give us the desire yet not grant them? 

Unka Glen answered: Imagine you have a small child, and your child says he wants a pet tiger. Well, first, that’s not really possible. Second, the tiger would eat everyone. And third, no. Just, no. How about a cat? it’s the same principle in miniature.

Now, on one level you can totally understand why your kid wants a pet tiger. It would be AWESOME to have a pet tiger. No question. And for the record, well done with the imagination. But still, no.

If you feel upset about hearing no, that’s understood, it’s a cool idea in its own way, and it’s a shame the dream had to die. Cry if you want to, be mad if you want to, I don’t blame you. But at the end of the day, no tiger for you.

God wants what’s best for you, and yet He wants to hear your crazy tiger-dreams, He understands your frustration, and yet he loves you enough to say the thing He knows will break your heart. As you said, God grants things according to His will, and it’s His will that you end up as something more than quivering chunks in the digestive tract of a large jungle cat.

You can trust in a God who will say no when you need to hear it, and you’re no fool for following a God who says, I want BETTER for you than this thing you’re asking for, BUT you have to be made ready for that blessing (perhaps some large animal veterinary training that will allow you to work with any number of tigers at the local zoo). 

God doesn’t grant our every desire because they’re too small, too shallow, and too short-term.

Life is a hurricane. It swirls, and blows, and chaos ensues. Some people try to keep it all in order, others try to pretend it’s not happening, others just try to hang on and ride it out.

The goal for us as Christians, is to find the eye of that storm, where it’s still, where we can look straight up and see cool blue sky. It may rage all around us, but there is peace in the eye of the storm. There is peace in the midst of chaos. 

This eye is moving, it moves forward, and we must move with it, lest all the storms and worries of life overtake us. By the same token, if we move too fast, we dash into the face of this storm, and we constantly become subject to it’s fury and drama and turmoil. 

Be still at the heart of your storm. Be still and know that He is God. Be still and know that you are not God. Then ask God to take every anxiety you have. Clear the slate. Know the peace that surpasses all understanding.

In John 10, Jesus said that His sheep recognize His voice, and that they will run away from a stranger, because they don’t recognize his voice. It occurs to me that the most important thing is to learn to recognize the voice of the Lord in our head, and by contrast, the voice of the enemy who would lead us astray. 

First, let’s learn to recognize the voice of the enemy:

• You need to read more Bible.
• You need to go to church more often.
• You don’t pray enough.

The voice of the enemy is always about “have-to’s”, the voice of the Good Shepherd is always about the “get-to’s”. If the enemy can’t keep you from following God, he’ll try to make following God an obligation and a chore. He always makes it seem as though you aren’t qualified. You aren’t accept by God. Not yet anyway, just jump through this hoop.

Speaking of that kind of manipulation… here’s more of the enemy’s voice:

• You know that thing you’re afraid of? God gave you that spirit of fear.
• Learn to put up with things more, and forgive! Now!
• You’re not allowed to feel how you feel.

Remember that the enemy comes “disguised as an angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14). His specialty is setting up a false sense of righteousness where you play the martyr, and put up with stuff you should not. Even worse, as you resent being everyone’s doormat, you end up resenting God for making you tolerate something He never told you to tolerate.

• Look what you did! You call yourself a Christian!
• You better get it right this time.
• Act more Christian!

This is the voice of condemnation, and there is now NO condemnation for those in Christ (Romans 8:1). Grace is unlimited, and our relationship in no way depends on us behaving well enough. You are God’s child, and just as no child of yours could ever make you stop loving them because of the way they act, so much more does a perfect God love you despite ANYTHING you do.

So let’s look at what God’s voice sounds like, so we can learn to follow our Shepherd:

• Don’t cheat yourself, hear my words of comfort in prayer.
• When you’re lost, guides will appear.
• I’m gentle and humble of heart.
• You have nothing to fear. I will never leave you.
• Take heart, be courageous, be bold. 
• You are a world changer.
• I know exactly how you feel, and I don’t blame you.
• Even so, let me lead you out of this anger and bitterness.
• Look at what you’ve done, you are so much better than that!
• I want the best for you, and you’d settle for so much less.
• You don’t have to earn my love, it’s always there.
• Don’t be anxious or fearful, that’s not who you are.
• Be still. I’ve got this. Breathe.
• Let me just hold you awhile, okay?
• I know it’s all a big mess, I can handle it.
• Just give me you, as you are, that’s all I want.

Anonymous asked: Hey, Unka! Thanks for helping, always giving such great answers to our questions, and really guiding us. There’s a Christian guy friend who likes me, and I think he’s going to confess soon. I don’t like him in that way and I don’t think a relationship with him is the best idea. In the case that he does confess his feelings, what should I say or do? I want to tell him the truth, but I also don’t want to hurt his feelings. How do I do this in a way that glorifies God and edifies him?

Unka Glen answered: Well, there is no way to avoid hurting his feelings. And trying to do so will likely end up making things worse, and more confusing. It hurts less to rip the bandage off in one quick go, rather than slowly peel it off. So be brave, be clear, and let that painful moment happen. It will pass. 

Having said that, you don’t need to be grave and serious about it either. Sometimes it’s better to say something like, “oh sweetie you know that you and I would never work out, we’re too different, but I’m flattered that you’d think of me that way.” 

However, I’m intrigued by your awesome goal here to glorify God in this, and edify Him as well. I like how you think. So let’s look at a few things we can try here:

1. You can let him know that you already sensed his feelings, and that you already prayed about it, and that you just don’t think it’s a good fit. This will at least let him know that you took it seriously, and that he’s worth the consideration.
2. In Texas (where I grew up) we have a saying, “there’s a lid for every pot”. It’s worth explaining to him that it’s all too possible to be attracted to someone (in this case, you) who simply wouldn’t be a good fit.
3. You can then maybe help him think about what kind of woman he would be a good fit with, as opposed to who he’s just attracted to.
4. You can help him for sure by telling him anything that he did right, but if he’s open, it might do him a world of good to hear some pointers on stuff he could do better with the next gal he asks out.
5. You can ask him if he’s got someone else he’s thought of asking out, and maybe offer to “coach” him on asking her out. Stuff like how to dress, and what to say, and generally how to be. You can maybe even pray together that he would find that right fit with someone.
6. Building men up is actually very easy. Modern culture tends to encourage young women to act cool, aloof, and detached when it comes to love (in other words, the opposite of the way they want to be). And girls who are chicken realize that aloof and chicken look a lot alike. Either way, men HATE that aloof act. We don’t have any clue what women are thinking anyway, so why bother hiding your feelings? As such, dudes don’t often hear much in terms of compliments. If you tell him that he’s attractive, and a good catch for the right gal, he’ll take it to heart.
7. Show him that you want to be a sister in Christ, and a help in his romantic life. It’s not what he wants right now, but if his buddies see you helping him out, that will be a nice testimony. 

Let me tell you a little story to illustrate that last point…

So I’m in high school, and there’s a dance coming up, and there’s this girl in my history class that I really wanted to ask out, but she was kinda out of my league, and I had no idea if she really liked me.

Meanwhile, the French Club is running a little fundraiser where you can buy one of their cupcakes, and they’ll deliver it to whoever you have a crush on, so it can be like a secret admirer thing. 

Here’s where it gets interesting: a gal named Mary from my youth group in my church is in the French Club, and she knows I’m trying to work up the courage to ask this gal out, and Mary also happened to be the best looking, and the most popular, gal in the school. 

So I’m sitting in History class when there’s a knock at the door, and there’s a cupcake delivery, not from an anonymous admirer, but signed by Mary the class uber-hottie, and addressed to me! So the gal I’m hoping to ask to the dance looks over at me, and asks me if I’m going to take Mary to the dance. 

I lean over and say, “no darlin’, I’d much rather take you, if you’ll have me.”

BOOM.

Of course I left out the part where Mary was already dating a friend of mine from church… But here’s the thing, all my guy-friends knew about this development, and to a man, none of them had ever heard of a cool, popular, and attractive gal doing anything for regular dudes like us. 

When they asked what would possibly cause Mary to help me, without me even asking for it, I said, “we go to church together, and that’s just how we do it. We look out for one another.” 

That’s a testimony.