Unka Glen

How much of your life is ruled by fear? How many decisions, how many of your actions, how much of your lifestyle is all about fear? That might be:

• The fear of rejection
• The fear of failure
• The fear of poverty
• The fear of loneliness
• The fear of being on bad terms with God

Now imagine that we thought of fear as a sin. Or perhaps that’s unfair, given that fear is an emotion, and I don’t think you can really have a righteous or sinful emotion. So let’s say that cowardice is when we let fear rule our lives. Cowardice is when fear is driving the bus and making the decisions.

By that definition, cowardice HAS to be a sin.

The Bible does say: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6). But we really don’t think of life that way, do we? It really helps to worry over things, if we didn’t worry, nothing would ever get done! Worry just shows that we care about things! Yet in Matthew 6:27 Jesus asks, “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

You know how Christians have this huge fixation on porn? You know how they hate falling into it? How they’d hate for anyone to know that they’re committing that kind of sin? What if Christians had the same attitude about cowardice?

And why isn’t it obvious by now that the enemy uses fear to drive us deeper into participating in church, out of a fear of punishment, while simultaneously creating a more distant and cold relationship with God? And all this despite 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

Fear is a prison, and I want to set you free from it. God holds your future in His hand. IT’S NOT UP TO YOU. He has challenges for you to accept, hurdles for you to overcome, and tasks for you to complete, but HE will ensure the victory, not you. That’s good news. 

Joshua 1:9 ”Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Fear not
Because I have redeemed you
I have called you by your name
You are mine.
Isaiah 43:1b

Anonymous asked: Hi Unka Glen! Your blog’s been a great source of wisdom and I really need some right now. You see, I recently got employed. A week on the job got me feeling overwhelmed, that I’m not good or strong enough for it. I don’t know if I should give up or keep going. I’m having a really hard time hearing what God has to say regarding what career path I should take… I don’t know what to do. How do I know what He wants for me?

Unka Glen answered: well, let’s be fair, everyone is overwhelmed om their first week of the job. But here’s a huge mistake Christians make all the time: they look to themselves, and try to add up what they have to offer, and then take on only the things they think they can handle. John 15:5 says “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

By looking to ourselves, we get it wrong both ways. On one hand we think we can accomplish some things on our own. And on the other hand, we fail to recognize that God is always part of the equation. Repeat after me: I can’t do it, but God can do it through me.

Vine and branches are all part of ONE organism. And the branch (you) is TOTALLY dependent on the vine (God). The stronger and smarter and more sanctified I become, the more I realize that I just don’t have what it takes, and I’m not even close. And the easiest way to stay reminded of that, is to get in over my head, and stay there.

It’s hard to figure out what God wants you to do, when you’re freaked out and overwhelmed with doubts over your ability to pull anything off. But know this, God can accomplish anything through you. Lazarus was dead. I’m sayin’, dead,buried, and decomposing, and Jesus still said, “I can work with this”.

Christians do not live in fear. We stand in awe of a power beyond all human comprehension, and we know that this power fights for us, and that nothing in Heaven or Hell can stand against us. We. Do. Not. Fear. We face our challenges head on, and when we lose heart, we go to God and receive the courage we need.

“We do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.” (Hebrews 10:39) 

azurechanel asked: I’m in a relationship with a wonderful man of God; we’re crazy about each other! I’m 22, and he’s my only boyfriend ever. Since I’m new to dating/relationships, I get kinda scared something’s gonna go wrong and break us up. Because I waited for this so long, until it was right, I don’t want mine to end. Any thoughts on dealing with the fear? I know it’s not from God, but it can be hard to shake. Thanks!

Unka Glen answered: The first part of dealing with fear is to understand that fear has a way of making what you fear come true. In this case, by fearing the end of the relationship, you’ll end up holding on too tightly, smothering him, getting jealous of everyone around him, and generally making his life miserable. Next thing you know, things are ending, just the way you feared they would.

The other problem here is coveting. Coveting is about craving something to the point of distraction and dysfunction. People think coveting is about craving the things you don’t have. But coveting also applies to craving things you do have as well. That sounds strange, but that’s how people are.

Rich people hold on to money in a way poor people, with real money problems, never will. Attractive people worry over their looks. Celebrities worry over their fame. People covet their own success, and will often do anything to keep it going, even to the point of losing all happiness.

The solution is simple: give this relationship to God. Sacrifice it to Him. It’s no longer yours to cling to, it’s His. You take your hand off the steering wheel. The good news is, everything will be better as a result of this new perspective. Here’s a prayer for that:

Dear Lord, 

I love having this relationship, I love how it makes me feel, and I love the feeling of being in love. But I love YOU way more. You are my first love, my great passion, my all in all. This dating relationship needs to serve the relationship I have with you. So I’m putting this dating relationship on the altar. I’m sacrificing it to you. If you want it to end, it will end. As much as that would hurt, I know you’d have your reasons, and I trust you more than I trust myself. If you want this relationship to move forward, I want to know where it needs to go, and what it needs to do. I’m your servant Lord, and this dating relationship will be made to serve you as well. 

Amen

Anonymous asked: I have a friend struggling with lust and masturbation. He is a Christian and is aware that it is a sin but he told me he sometimes couldn’t help it. What could be a good and practical solution for this?

Unka Glen answered: Ah, the friend, yes. How about this for a solution: put it off until later. 

Oh, but we have to attack the obvious, visible sins first, because they’re more important, and then deal with the sins of our interior thought-life later, because they have less of an impact on our walk. Sounds dumb when I say it out loud, but it made sense a few seconds ago, huh?

I recently used an analogy, where I said this process of dealing with the sin in our lives, is like cleaning a house. You simply can’t clean all parts of the house at once. You start in one place, and work your way to another. However, the ORDER you place on the sins you want to attack is of paramount importance.

Let’s look at the usual order of sins Christians want to deal with:

1. Porn/masturbation
2. Cussing
3. Lack of being nice/polite
4. Bad church attendance
5. Lack of reading Bible

Again, it doesn’t look right when you actually write it down and look at it, huh? Now, let’s look at a smarter list:

1. Guilt
2. Shame
3. Fear
4. Pride/Vanity/Ego
5. Lack of discernment

Looks much better right? Okay, now I’m gonna show you the magic part… Let’s start with #1, guilt. Step numero uno in your walk is accepting forgiveness. If you haven’t done that, forget about Bible knowledge, and all the rest. If you haven’t fully accepted God’s forgiveness, you’re not a babe in Christ, you’re still a zygote.

Nothing wrong with that though, all we have to do is make accepting forgiveness and rejecting the emotions of guilt our top priority. We do that by living with a simple truth: yes, I am guilty, BUT I am forgiven. 

Now, here’s the good part.

If I accept this forgiveness, what happens when I get to #2 on my list (shame)? Why am I living in shame if I’m forgiven? Suddenly that makes no sense. It’s hard for shame to even stick to me, if I fully embrace that I’m forgiven.

Then what about #3 (fear)? What do I have to be afraid of? God already knew I was going to commit this sin, and He already made a way for me to be forgiven, I’ve accepted this way, and so what new development is there for me to be fearful of?

This way of forgiveness involved the Son of God being tortured and killed for my sins. In the light of that, it’s hard, looking at item #4 (pride), to think of myself as anything other than a totally depraved sinner who is nonetheless totally loved by God. Pride just can’t take root in a mindset like that.

So by the time you look at item #5 (lack of discernment), you realize that if you tried to have discernment, while also wallowing in guilt, cringing in shame, cowering in fear, and somehow trying to build up your own self-image… well, you can see how truly difficult it would be to get ANY discernment.

The same goes with porn, or any other bad habits we have. If you order things wrong, you’re looking at accomplishing the near impossible, mostly in your own strength (or as often happens, swapping out one addiction for another).

If you order things right, you can build this amazing momentum, where the wisdom and strength you develop to deal with today’s struggle, will help you conquer all the other struggles you’ll have for the rest of your life.

Anonymous asked: I decided to leave the church for good. No one asks me why I do not attend services anymore. I feel insignificant ever since. But I admit it is my fault. I wanted attention and significance, but I just pushed people away. I decided to abandon everything I believe. And what’s happening to me right now is that I believe every single thing my mind tells me, but I cannot believe what the Bible tells me. My mind says God hates me, and won’t look after me, and left me, because I pushed him away too.

Unka Glen answered: I’m just sitting here thinking, how strong would your arms have to be, to push God away? Who knows, but you ain’t got what it takes in that department, buttercup. God’s mind is made up regarding you, and nothing changes His mind. Nothing.

The saddest thing about this whole deal is how simple the original problem is to solve. Everyone wants that sense of significance, and a little attention now and then. When we were early in our marriage, my wife would do all kinds of things to get my attention. Being a man, I didn’t pick up on any of it. I just thought I’d married a weirdo.

It took me awhile to figure it all out, and explain to her that she could just ask for attention. It was one of those crazy marital moments where you realize, oh yeah, I have someone who is there to help me, they’re willing to help me. All I need to do is communicate it. 

So now, if my wife is having a hard day, she’ll march into the room and say, “I need attention, pay attention to me right now!” And I’m only too happy to drop what I’m doing and give her my full attention. What’s even more amazing is how little attention we need when we really get down to it. All the people in your life who love you want to give you attention and significance.

The problem is, if you manipulate them into giving you attention (like dramatically skipping church for example), then you don’t know if they’re really paying attention to you, or if it’s just the manipulation they’re responding to. So you don’t allow yourself to feel, or value, whatever attention you actually get. 

The right move from here is to start by rebuilding your relationship with Christ. Those insecurities that set all this in motion are a lie. So take every thought captive, and bind those lies and cast them out. Repent from having believed those toxic lies. Then you can believe the truth.

Then apologize to your friends for doing all these things to get attention. If they’re human, they’ll probably realize they’ve done the same thing too, plenty of times.